The Bowl.

I haven't been to a hairdresser's since I was 16. I finished my last day at school and in act of symbolic act of freedom from arbitrary school rules, went and got my head shaved. Since then I have yo-yo'ed between a shaven head and a long, unmanaged mess. I feel like something has to change, and so, I have recently started cutting my hair with scissors and a mirror, rather than just shearing it all off like a big human sheep. Now I feel like I can take this one step further, I need a style, I need a bowl haircut.

Like Rowan Atkinson in the first series of Blackadder. Serious Medieval vibes.

Or perhaps the guy from this band doing a floor windmill while he plays some excellent riffage. (This is from a story on Vice about bowl haircuts so maybe it doesn't count, though the article is very informative...) Look how it moves, so silky.

But really, the urge to get The Bowl is more fuelled by a sudden and drastic re-assesment of how cool I looked when I was a kid. A bit like this.

I have brown hair though. Also I didn't have to wear a dress.

I'm tempted by an undercut.

But the centre parting puts me off. I like the moustache though. I'd probably keep fairly clean shaven. Nothing should distract from The Bowl.

Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber is an obvious reference point.

It is the clarity of The Bowl that is so alluring. Everyone knows what's happening with The Bowl. It is unmistakable.

Let us leave the final word to style icon Randy Taylor. Represented here through a poor quality youtube video made up of clips of him in Home Improvement, badly filmed off the telly with a camcorder. Thank you internet. Thank you.