"I touch wood. I first did it I thought about my parents dying. Which sounds weird, but they will, eventually, but probably not now. I just hadn't thought about it before, and when I did, it was such a horrible thought that I touched wood, just for something to make me feel like I had some sort of control. Even writing it has made me touch wood (n.b. it doesn't have to be wood, can just be anything solid touching the ground). It was a Pascal's wager of superstition, i.e. may as well, what's the harm? etc. But now I need it. I get panicky. I'm touching it for everything now. All the vibes.
"Why do you think I'm writing this? To dispel them. The vibes. I feel like I am a totem for badness, and that's no good. I have things to do, people to meet, impressions to create. People smell bad vibe a mile off. they see it coming. Wavy lines coming off the person like heat. But it isn't heat. It's vibe. Bad vibe.
"I think it's worked. I feel better. Only time will tell. Tomorrow is another day. Another day for vibe to decide how it will play me. Stay positive. Positive thoughts = positive vibe."
