A quick one.
For the past few weeks I haven't been drinking. Hangovers were getting to the stage where they were impacting on my life in a truly negative way, so I thought I'd have a few weeks off and try and work out a better way of doing things.
Physically, I don't feel different - apart from the no hangovers thing. And mentally I don't feel better, but I do feel stranger. Life feels a bit more distant - like I'm holding it at arm's length. Things don't seem so urgent, or exciting, or terrible. I feel like I have more time to respond, like everything has slowed down just the tiniest amount.
The main feeling is one of ownership - everything I do and say is mine.There is no external influence. And if I do or say something ridiculous, then I don't feel worried about it, because I was bound to do or say it anyway.
It's a sober shrug. A sort of dry determinism.