I’ve been taking naps. When I wake up, I have to go through a routine. A nap is a very disorienting procedure to undertake. When you wake up, you don’t feel rested or good, like you do when you wake up from a full night of sleep. When you wake up, you feel chewed, or chewy. You feel like thick spit or stale bread.
So when I wake up from a nap, I try and remember my name. That is the first part of the routine. Once I’ve remembered my name I take off my socks (the socks I’ve been wearing for the nap) and put on new socks. That is the second part of the routine. Once I’ve changed socks I try and remember an interesting story about my life, the sort of story you would try and remember for a job interview or a first date, i.e. funny and broad in its appeal, but a story that expresses your individuality and intelligence. That is the third part of the routine.